Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

The comments I have received in the last week have been so encouraging, uplifting, loving, and kind. Thank you for taking time to write.

One comment disturbs me. It said “You are such an amazing woman of God.” Sweet Sister, thank you for your kind comment, but please know this is not true. I am not an amazing woman. God is an amazing God!

It is His grace that is amazing. I am a wretched woman He took from the pits and He is creating a work in me in spite of my rebellion. I have a looooong way to go. I have made many, many mistakes in my life. I’m ashamed at the times I have given Satan a foothold. I have walked in pride, judgment, and every sin imaginable. We all do because we are sinners.

I’m not trying to be humble. I don’t have to try. I am easily humbled by some of the sour fruit in my life. I fall so short. What I write here is encouragement for myself and others, in hopes that I grow and in hopes it will encourage others.

The only thing amazing here is that God can use anyone. It’s His amazing grace. When His grace is at work, we can shift our attention from our trials to Him. His grace puts the focus on His sufficiency.

It’s easy to have faith when things are going well. It’s through the trials faith is needed. God said His grace is sufficient for every trial we will ever encounter. Because of His loving kindness we can withstand discouraging situations because we know He has a bigger and better plan.

The Bible is full of God preparing His servants in ways we don’t always understand. He prepared Joseph for seventeen years for His work in Egypt and He prepared Moses for eighty years before the forty years he led the people of Israel. David had many years of trials before he became King of Israel. Paul and the disciples went through shipwrecks, imprisonments, and beatings.

God is doing a work. I rejoice that God has allowed me these trials to develop a deeper intimacy with Him. The blood infusion I receive weekly makes me stronger physically, but more importantly the infusion of grace I receive spending time in the Word keeps me going spiritually.

My chains are gone, I’ve been set free. My God, my Saviour has set me free–unending love, amazing grace.

“. And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.

For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

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Health Update

I received an iron infusion at the hematologist office today. My blood volume Friday was 44 and today is 38. So I’ve lost over a unit of blood since Friday. (Last week, I lost that much in one hour in the ambulance).

The good news is I had enough blood to lose a few units (I was at 25 in the hospital); the bad news is I’m still losing blood. I go back to the hematologist Thursday for a blood test and was told to go back to the ER if I become symptomatic.

I’m a bit frustrated that no doctor seems to be in charge. The hospital sent me home Thursday night with a prescription to get blood work on Friday but didn’t tell me who to give the results to. I called my cardiologist who took it and gave it to the hematologist. The OB-GYN has no clue I’m still losing blood and hasn’t asked.

This medical system is for the birds. The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing unless I squawk. Let me give you an example.

One Long Horrible Scary Night in the Hospital

The fourth day in the hospital (after I had received 6 units of blood and they slowed down the bleeding) I was scheduled for a colon scope. To prepare I had to drink a gallon of a horrid solution to clean out my system (I know, too much information, but I have a point to make). I started drinking at 10 pm.

I drank the solution and it worked well by 2 am. Then I was not allowed any water so I was dehydrated. They were unable to start an IV or draw blood because they could not “get a vein” even after they tried in the top of my feet.

By midnight my legs started cramping really bad (I’ve had nine natural child births–I am no baby about pain). By 2 am I was crying hard. My legs hurt bad. The nurse had no idea why my legs would hurt except maybe because I had been in bed for a few days. She reported the leg cramps to the doctor who allowed me a mild pain medication. The doctor did not know why I was having leg pains.

In less than two hours I was begging for more pain meds but couldn’t have any for 2 hours. Then the pain went into my chest. At this point my BP was falling, my EKG was a bouncing all over with double, triple and quadruple beats. Many nurses were running in and out. They gave me morphine. It lasted 10 minutes.

No one on the entire cardiac ward at Vanderbilt (a billion dollar teaching hospital) had any idea what was happening to me.

I had my Kindle with me so I looked up leg cramps on the Internet (through the tears of pain). Within 10 minutes I found one of the major causes of leg cramps was a lack of potassium. This made sense because the cleanse had wiped out all my electrolytes.

Any elementary soccer coach would know I needed electrolytes (even Gatoraid) so why didn’t the cardiologist or nurses know? I asked for potassium, but they refused because they couldn’t do a blood test until 7 am when the IV specialist got in. Accck!

After crying for seven solid hours they gave me the potassium. Within 15 minutes the pain was gone. If they would have started an IV before I was dehydrated, with electrolytes, I wouldn’t have had to lose a night’s sleep, bear excruciating pain nor have the trauma happen to my heart.

That morning they took me downstairs for the colon scope. The nurse asked “How was your cleanse?” I explained the leg cramps. She said, “Oh, that happens a lot.” THAT HAPPENS A LOT!!!??? Why isn’t there a warning label on the bottle of solution????

The whole hospital experience was something out of Bizarro Land. And from the way my blood looks I may have to go back in for more blood transfusions within the week. Sigh.

Well, thanks for listening to me vent. Maybe there is a scriptural lesson in here somewhere? I’ll watch for it. I have learned that anyone who goes into a hospital needs to be a bold self-advocate or get one. Don’t face this system alone!

Please pray for me. Thank you.

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The woman with an issue of blood is one of the most heartrending of all Bible stories. My recent hemorrhage and hospital stay has brought this story close to home.

Blood loss is but one of many things that leave us physically and spiritually weak frail, anemic, haggard, overwhelmed, and fragile. Heartbreak, unforgiveness, bitterness, infirmities, and sins all result in exhaustion and despair.

This story reveals a healing from all kinds of desperate situations.

“A large crowd followed and pressed around Him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse.

When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind Him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, ‘If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed.’ Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering.

At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from Him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, ‘Who touched my clothes?’ ‘You see the people crowding against you,’ His disciples answered, ‘and yet you can ask, “Who touched Me?”‘ But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.

Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and knelt at His feet, and trembling with fear, told Him the whole truth. He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering’” (Mark 5:25-34).

An Unclean Issue

According to (Lev. 12:1-8; 15:19-30) the bleeding woman was unclean. To be ceremonially unclean was not “sin,” but she was unpure. {One can become unclean by several methods such as touching a dead person or animal)

Being unpure meant that one was barred from their regular fellowship (a bleeding woman is not allowed to have relations with her husband) with and worship of God, and their fellowship with God’s people, until they were made clean. An unclean person needed purification by washing to correct their unclean condition.

Because she was unclean she was isolated. In the same way, sin separates us from God and from others. Christ’s blood is our only hope for cleansing from impurity of sin

Jesus washing the feet of the disciples ( John 13:5-11) relates to this theme. Feet become unclean in the day to day cares of this world. We have to permit Jesus “wash” us to abide in Him.

The Root of the Problem

The woman was devastated mentally, physically, and financially. She spent all of her money time and efforts seeking a solution.

I went to doctor after doctor for years looking for a physical healing with my issue of blood. But for years the doctors treated the symptoms instead of the root that caused that bleeding. The symptoms only got worse and eventually effected heart problems. The medications for heart problems caused more bleeding. It was a vicious cycle.

In the same way the ways of the world (pop culture, positive thinking, self help, etc) only offer to treat symptoms-something to make you feel better temporally–the world’s way doesn’t address the root problems.

God-our Great Physician– knows that only when the core issue -sinfulness– is addressed, there can be true healing. We receive the root healing from Christ when we are born again.

What Would Jesus Do?

The woman “reached out to Christ” “came and fell at His feet and, trembling with fear…” (Mar 5:33).Why was she in fear? Was she afraid of rebuke?

It can be fearful to open up to our brothers and sisters and to be vulnerable before them– transparent. But these are opportunities to practice koinonia - deep spiritual intimacy.

I have reached out to Christians in fear because I’ve asked for help or forgiveness only to receive judgmental condemnation, hash criticism or become the victim of false accusations of vicious gossip. What love is this?

People will fail you. But when we reach out for Jesus we will never receive condemnation. Jesus is approachable in every circumstance. God sometimes allows circumstances to enter our lives that reduce us to desperation so that we will reach out for Him.

Jesus lovingly reassured the unclean woman with the words, “Take heart” and affectionately addressed her as “daughter,” Jesus healed her-washed he pure-and assured her that the torment would not return with the words, “Be freed from your suffering.”

Jesus compassionately told the woman “Your faith has made you well”. The Greek word “well” in this passage means to save, keep safe and sound, to rescue. to save from the evils which obstruct the reception of the Messianic deliverance.

Charles Colsen said,

“True faith depends not upon mysterious signs, celestial fireworks, or grandiose dispensations from a God who is seen as a rich, benevolent uncle; true faith, as Job understood, rests on the assurance that GOD IS WHO HE IS.”

Do People Reach Out to You for Help? How do You Respond?

This story is a reminder of how we need to treat brothers and sisters in the body. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. (John 13:3)

There is too much haughty pride in the body of believers. Never forget, we all revert to a sin nature daily not worthy to contact God except through Christ.

Those who reach out, with faith, to touch Him are made worthy though Him and then can boldly stand before God accepting His grace and forgiveness. If Christ won’t condemn those who reach out how can we?

Are You Hurting? Feeling Unloved?

Because of Christ’s redemption, the healed woman became a new creation of infinite worth, deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing, totally accepted by God, absolutely complete in Christ. Praise God!

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (Isa 40:31)

A Hebraic Perspective

A Hebrew perspective reveals more to the story. Why did the woman touch the hem?

Touching the Hem: Jesus and the Prayer Shawl

This book gives a comprehensive study of the long and interesting Jewish tallit tradition, which required that the four-cornered garment commonly worn in Bible days have tzitzit (fringes) appended to each corner as a means of calling both the wearer and the observer to remember all the Word of God (commandments). You will simply be amazed at the extent of this tradition and its continuing impact upon the Jewish people to this day in the form of the “prayer shawl” that they wear at specific times of devotion and interaction with the Divine Presence.

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View from the Back of an Ambulance

Thank you so much for taking the time to pray for my family and all your lovely comments this week. I wept as I read them. Thank you, Kathleen, for keeping everyone updated. I coveted your prayers and, as usual, God not only answered them, He did exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask (Eph 3:20).

Rejoice: This Week Has Been a Trial

Paul said “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us - they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us ….” Romans 5:3-5

I began this week hemorrhaging and went to the Shelbyville Emergency Room where they immediately sent me to Vanderbilt Hospital in an ambulance.

There is nothing more sobering than an hour ride in an ambulance with flashing lights and screaming sirens.

After five days of poking and prodding I was released on Thursday night but had to go back Friday night. Nothing serious this time, my arm is infected from IV Infiltration (one of the blood transfusions didn’t go well). The swelling got pretty bad and my fever was creeping up so I went back to the hospital for an antibiotic shot. I feel much better now.

Praise God, for the first time in years my blood levels are all in the normal range! Even with aches of an infection spreading through my body, I still feel good because I received 6 units of iron-rich blood via transfusions.

Now I have color. I walked by a mirror and thought I had a sunburn; then realized I actually have a flesh tone, I’m not pasty pale white anymore.

Praise God, my heart is doing well. The heart troubles (erratic EKGs and bigeminy and trigemini) were a result of blood and electrolyte loss–not from the heart surgery last month. So now that the blood loss has been corrected (well, mostly) my heart is doing well.

Rejoice: This Week Has Been a Test

We give our children tests to find out what they have learned. God designs spiritual tests to help us find out about ourselves, to become closer to Him and develop spiritually.

Kathleen told you, “Robin has lost the will to live.” Well, I did. When you give an anemic, weak woman a whole bunch of hormone pills she will transform before your eyes from Jekyll to Hyde.

The third day in the hospital my blood levels bottomed out and the doctors gave me a ton of Progesterone. My thoughts were like spaghetti. I was in a deep, dark, nasty pit–sobbing for several hours. Once the meds were stopped I was fine. Hormones are powerful chemicals. This was a spiritual battle and all your prayers kept me in God’s protective arms.

Our bodies are amazing–temples entrusted to us by God; so complex, how can anyone doubt Our Creator?

We are all in the process of growing spiritually and sometimes it is a painful process. Once a seed is planted in fertile ground, it takes root and grows into a fruit-bearing plant. The plants that receive proper pruning will bear the most fruit.

There is always a lesson in tribulations. We just have to ask God to complete a good work in us through it.

I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. (Cor 12:10)

Rejoice: This Week Has Been a Reminder

This week has been a reminder we are in these temporary bodies for such a short time. Our days here on earth are a mist, a breath, a wisp of smoke (Ecc 4:7). God alone is “from everlasting to everlasting” Our life in these bodies is but a drop in the ocean.

Once we adjust our focus from the cares of this world to eternity with a loving God we become true positive thinkers. Not the pop-culture/talk show/Oprah’s bestselling self-help book positive thinkers, but people positive that God loves us and that He has a specific plan for each of us.

Beloved, the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. God has provided for our sinful ways and rescued us from a horrible sin-death. Rejoice!

I appreciate the short time I have here and the many blessings God has given me. But this week has been a reminder that I am accountable for this time I have in this body. We all need to consistently examine our time and be sure it being spent in God’s will.

LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is: that I may know how frail I am. (Psalms 39:4)

Rejoice: This Week Has Been A Physical and Spiritual Healing

You prayed for my family and God answered in many ways. A long overdue restoration and healing is in the works and I look forward to watching how God makes the transformation.

It is late and I need to rest. I can’t thank you enough for your prayers. What a wonderful age of communication we live in. We can share one another’s burdens and encourage one another thousands of miles apart.

Please keep praying as my family continues to fight spiritual and physical battles. Thank you!

Image Credit: The card on the top of this post and more Christian cards are greeting cards you can print from your desktop color printer from http://www.abigraphics.com

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Robin just now called to let me know she is home. She gave me the long version of her ordeal, but requested that I just give you the basics for now. She has had to run to her doctor for some tests and will post the details later.

She has received 6 units of blood and has about 32 “stick marks” from attempts by the hospital staff to take blood for tests and give blood when she got low. They sent her home Thursday night but she is very concerned that the doctors have not evaluated her situation correctly and thinks she may have to go back to the hospital soon.

Please, please pray that the doctors (there are several) will interpret her test results accurately and that she will get the exact treatment she needs to get her bleeding under control.

As any of you who has had to “run defense” for a loved one in the hospital already knows, details concerning the patient’s condition can get overlooked and mistakes made all too easily. Robin feels that the staff might possibly be missing something important and would appreciate your prayers for wisdom for all the medical staff involved with her case.

Thanks so much,

Kathleen

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