My boys are messy. Lord, Grant me patience to endure my blessings.  I spend way to much precious time picking up after them.

Yesterday I took them at by the hand–room to room–to remind them of basic instructions.

• I started the tour using my Nice Mommy Voice,   “You are not house guests. You are members of this family and need to contribute to keep it functioning smoothly and neatly.”
• We started in the bathroom. “There is no magic elf that will come put your clothes in the hamper. When you take of an item of clothing it goes in the dirty hamper not on the bathroom floor.”
• “Towel racks are not for gymnastics. When you finish drying with a towel it gets hung up to dry. ” I pick up a half drenched towel that sat in its puddle all night. “Wait  first smell it.” We all smell the towel and gag.  “Peewhew!, if it smells like this put it in the hamper.” We move on to family room.
• “When you finish playing with Legos they go back in the container not left strewn across three rooms. There is a black hole in the universe that will swallow them. The Legos that do not go into the black hole and find themselves on my dustpan are off to  garbage city. Got it?”
• “And What is this?” I ask, pointing to a cheese stick wrapper on the end table. Boys shrug as if they never seen a food wrapper in their lives. “”When you food items the wrapper goes in the garbage not on the end table, not on the floor, not in the sofa cushion, not behind the sofa. You remember the trash can–the cylinder object with the garbage bag in it, in the kitchen? Garbage bags are more than parachutes.”
• I pick up a Tupperware Tumbler off the floor, ” Does this look like the kitchen sink? When you have a drink put your cup in the sink, don’t leave it on the floor, dining table, or in the bath room, or outside, or laundry room, or under the couch.” All dirty dishes go in the sink.” Moving to the boys room.
• When we get to the boys room I had some trouble pushing the door into its fully open position due to army tanks,  GI Joes, other action figures, books, and clothing. My nice voice began to rise into the Angry Mom Voice so I’ll stop sharing our tour now. But you get the idea. It is easier to train a child right than to repair an adult later.

My Twitter friend Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of four books, including To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother wrote this timely article giving me ideas I can use with my Nice Mommy Voice:

One of the most frustrating things as a mother is getting kids to clean up after themselves! You’re forever finding toys everywhere, clothes everywhere, crafts everywhere, and dishes everywhere. So what do you do?

If you’re like most moms, you probably grumble and grimace and clean it yourself. Every now and then, though, you likely blow a gasket out of pure frustration.

There is a better way. With these three tips, you can get your kids cleaning, your house gleaming, and you smiling. Here are those strategies:

1. Make Tidying Routine

Scheduling takes the frustration out of most things. When children know they’re going to have to do something everyday, they stop complaining.

Try setting three specific cleaning times a day. Try first thing in the morning, as soon as children get home from school (perfect for putting lunches away), and right before bed. Alternatively, you could do a massive cleanup right before dinner. Having multiple clean up times helps kids remember to put things away immediately, and it often doesn’t take much more than five minutes. Set a timer for ten minutes and see how quickly they can get done! They’ll probably amaze you.

Whichever route you choose, though, remember that it will only work if you do it everyday so that it becomes routine! If you do it haphazardly, children will start to complain and try to get out of it. Make it regular and they’ll do it.

To institute these “tidy times”, just tell kids that nothing else gets done until the place is clean. No computer, no TV, no iPod, no games. No food, either. And you CAN enforce this, even for older children. You are the boss. Those iPods are not rights and they can be taken away. You have power!

Recently I’ve had to ban my girls from the computer and game boy until 5 p.m. because their rooms weren’t getting cleaned and piano wasn’t getting practiced. I consider computers and game boys privileges, and so now we have things they have to get done first.

The main thing is just to pick one method and stick to it. Deny privileges and allowances if they don’t come through and respect you. It’s hard work, because being consistent is always hard work.

But it’s worth it! Now here’s another method:

2. Use a Jubilee Box

In the Old Testament, every fifty years the Israelites had Jubilee year, where all seized property was returned and debts were cancelled. I think they actually only practiced it once, but it’s a good idea.

You can do it, too! Keep a basket in your room where things they leave around the house get placed–whether it’s iPods, or jackets, or the remote for the Wii. And then every Sunday can be jubilee day when they get it back. But if they want to redeem it early, they have to pay you something, according to their age. It could be a quarter, or a dollar, or whatever works in your family.

You’ll find you don’t need to use Jubilee methods very often. Once you start, they’ll clue in. And if you do have regular tidying periods, it’s not so bad.

The key to both is CONSISTENCY. If you stick to it one week, but give up the next, you’ll ruin all the work you already put in. Make it a routine for you, too, and it will become routine for them.

One final note

3. Make it Easy to Tidy

Make sure your children have appropriate furniture with lots of drawers to hold their stuff. Sometimes children don’t clean because they honestly don’t know where things go. You may need to take a week or two and help them organize their rooms and the playroom just so you get a sense that everything has a place. And if you find stuff without places, create places. Label the drawers if you need to. Then they know what’s expected.

When children have places to put stuff, tidying routines, and consequences when they leave stuff lying around, you’ll find that your house will stay much neater.

Like all things in parenting, though, it requires you putting in the hard work and enforcing the routine. Once it becomes habit, your whole family will feel more peaceful. So take a deep breath, get up, and get the kids cleaning. You won’t regret it.

Visit Sheila’s blog at To Love Honor and Vacuum and download your FREE household organization planners, including personal planners, kids’ chore charts, organization checklists, and more to make your tidying routine.

How do you teach messy kids to be tidy?

See Works for Me Wednesday at We are That Family for 200+ post of helpful ideas

Popularity: 21% [?]

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!